Anchor

It's been awhile since I've written anything on here. Things have changed quite a bit since I've last posted anything, despite it being less than two weeks.

• I saw Kina Grannis.
• I am now a photographer for Poshism.
• I danced for a whole day for FBC danceboot(y)camp.
• I am writing a new script and hoping to film it really soon.
• I watched Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, and I must own the book.
• I have been going out six out of seven days a week for the past few weeks.
• I got my very first (and very last, I promise Demeter) hair extension.
• I am starting to slowly rebuild my book collection.
• I impulsively scissored my fringe off again, forgetting that I need to braid my hair for camp.
• I deleted my Tumblr account, and opened a new one to post up my street photography.

It's been almost a year since I started polytechnic, and I'd like to believe that I've changed a whole lot. I've learnt to be more sociable, I've become both more tolerant and more intolerant, I've grown to be more hardworking, and I am now more appreciative of a lot of things.

I've started a lot of projects and did a lot of new things recently, and I'm pretty proud of myself. I've saved up and bought a 50mm lens, I'm producing two short films and planning to do a simple music video, I got myself a DIY twin-reflex camera and I want to plaster my wall with the photos, I worked as a photographer's assistant, I'm doing street fashion photography for Poshism, I'm doing street photography for myself. How exciting!

There's has been a lot of changes, accomplishments, and projects recently and I really do hope that there would be very more to come very soon.

Because I do not take my own self seriously

I've been rather upset with quite a lot of things recently, but watching this conversation unfold was extremely entertaining to me that I just had to share.

Yes, I am aware that it is very sick, and it is like objectifying me, but aiya. Who cares. We all need to learn how not to take ourselves too seriously.

Also, in case it's not obvious enough, this wasn't me. Ok? Ok.

Vomit

Hi

This will be a vomit of a post. It's gonna look like the Twitter timeline of an annoying teenager, but who gives a fuck. Alright? Ok.

• The most treasured thing I can sacrifice for someone is sleep, so if I manage to get my ass out of my extremely comfortable bed to see you, or not sleep because of you, you are important to me. Remember that.
• I may not be a princess, but by right, I am YOUR princess. It's nice to see where I stand knowing that your Bible Study is more important than me.
• I am now a two-pointer. I have dropped from a decent 3.14 to a 2.85. And that is despite having a B for LocPro. I am disappointed with myself.
• I recently realized that I am a micromanager, with an extreme need for appearances to be consistent.
• I think some people find baking therapeutic because they only need to follow a recipe to have what they want. They have full and total control over everything, even though they technically do not.
• I grew up with two brothers and male cousins. I've seen everything that there is to see, and yes, I will wrestle with you. And I will win.
• You changed things you used to do, because I told you to do so. So don't sit there and pretend I don't matter.
• I hate that I crave for praises, but I actually do not like it when people come up to me personally to compliment me on my work.
• The worst thing I've ever wished someone is that they fall into a pit of Legos. I can't decide if that's just extremely cruel, or not so bad.
• I think he is absolutely adorable with the hair, and the eyes, and just the right height, and the weird sense of humour.
• It pains me to let other people even touch my Wreck This Journal, let alone let them write in it, but I guess it is something I need to overcome.
• I am currently taking 9 different vitamin supplements and pills, and that's not counting Panadol Extras and Strepsils.
• I hate it when people say people with Cancer or fat people or people with mental or physical diseases are beautiful. If they're not, they're not. There is no need to constantly reassure them that they are beautiful. Their beauty does not define them.
• I really dislike it when people turn into music snobs. I can appreciate one's talent in music, but I do not have to like them. I would much rather listen to Kimya Dawson, than Adele, even if Adele has a much better voice. I know and appreciate that she's awesome, but that doesn't mean I have to like her.
• I also dislike it when people cannot differentiate an entertainer from a musician. People who say Kpop stars are talentless idiots infuriate me. They are extremely talented entertainers and are much more successful than you will ever be, and they don't even have to be an amazing musician.
• We are in a flitriendship. Flirting friends relationship. I AM SO AMUSED. I love people who I can be like this with.
• The worst thing about being sick, is not the pain, but the painfully sad options of food I can eat.
• I hate it when I initiate an idea for an event and start planning it with other people, then somehow, I'm unable to make it to the date they decided on, and they just go on with it and completely disregard the fact that I was the one who wanted the event to happen in the first place. Scumbag friends.
• I hate it when people only take me seriously when I freak out and have a meltdown. They completely ignore my words when I talk to them calmly, but the moment I start to raise my voice, they start giving me this talk about how I need to calm the fuck down and that there's no need to use this tone of voice. Hello, if you had started listening to me when I was talking calmly, there wouldn't be a need for me to raise my voice.
• It really bothers me how things doesn't seem right recently. I hope this all reverts back to normal soon.
• I am fully aware that most of the things on this post looks like it's going against my previous blog post about me being nice. I don't really agree though.

That is all. For now at least. 

Nice

Hi

I'd like to think that I'm a very nice person. I really am. I offer to help people whenever I can, I try my best to help out people who do ask me for help, I don't have any aggressive-state arguments with anyone, and if I'm ever pissed off, I will consult my good friends before I attack someone. I'm amazingly nice, and I'm not being egoistic or anything. I'm merely speaking the truth.

I guess I could be a bitch sometimes. I do bitch about some people, but it is nothing serious. It is no excuse, but I don't think it affects my niceness. It's not particularly destructive, so I think it's fine. I do have flaws, and I snap at people when they do something wrong, but God knows that doesn't happen very often. If you think it does, please do let me know. I want to fix my faults.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is just to think out loud. Am I too nice? Sometimes I do think so. I do get pissed off and annoyed at people, but it takes a lot for me to get visibly angry. I can only remember two times I got really mad at people. Once was during a camp where I was a leader. I was having blinding migraines throughout the whole camp, but I passed all my drugs to my camp commandant cos he was suffering from a painful recovery of a broken arm, other people in charge of games didn't let me know about their night walk plan, so I was just standing there not knowing what was happening, there was an accident that could've easily been avoided, and people who wouldn't chill the fuck out even after I told them that the games no longer mattered. I don't think I've ever told anyone that, but yeah. The other time was when two friends blatantly used me as a scapegoat so they can go on their secret rendezvous, without even asking if I was okay with it. Oh my goodness. Just thinking about those two things make my blood boil, but I'm over it.

The reason why those things happened is because I'm too nice. Oh, I sacrificed my stash of painkillers, I let people use my name. I guess it's sort of my fault that I'm being taken advantage of, because I initially let them do so. But when I do tell people to stop, they don't take me seriously. When I tell friends to quit it when we're just playfully teasing each other, they just think I'm kidding. Why, oh, why.

There is only one person that I truly detest and cannot stand, and even I don't act like a bastard to that person. Why can't people treat me with the same respect as I treat them? I'm nice. Wahlao. Why do the nice people always have to finish last, even when it's not relationship-wise.

Good God. Have mercy on their souls.

5 more weeks

FILM:

1. Aperture short [halfway through production]
2. Down short [CANCELLED]
3. Musical trailer 
4. Psychopathic short [in pre-production]
5. Ben's drum cover video 
6. Secret gift to secret people [CANCELLED]
7. Homemade Chocolate short 

GO TO:

1. Singapore Arts Museum 
2. Food For Thought 
3. Ah Loy Thai 
4. Chinese Garden [CANCELLED]
5. Timbre 
6. Marina Bay Sands 

READ:

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green 
2. Abundance in Katherines by John Green 
3. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
4. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins 
5. Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong 

WATCH:

1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 
2. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 
3. Toy Story 3 
4. Titanic 
5. Shutter Island

THINGS I PLANNED TO DO LAST WEEK:

1. Make Spencer and a cat out of sculpey
2. Get a job
3. Try not to faint over seeing Wong Fu Productions in person
4. Bake with Nicolette and Kuan Hui
5. Edit 60 class photos
6. Have lunch with Nicole at Fish & Co
7. Watch Doctor Who

THINGS I PLAN TO DO NEXT WEEK:

1. Finish filming and editing Focus & Aperture
2. Meet up with Shannen
3. Start on Zombies, Run! missions
4. Finish writing 15
5. Send in internship emails