negativity month count: I

Hi.

It has been more than a month since I have officially graduated, and to be completely honest, I haven't been doing anything significant. 

I am turning 21 in a few months, and I just recently started a habit that has infinitely made me feel more of an adult than anything I've ever done in my life. I started making my bed in the morning. Every morning. It gives you a false sense of accomplishment, making you feel like you actually have your life together.

Contrary to popular belief, I am a workaholic at heart. Yes, I run through seasons worth of a TV series within a week, but I do so while working on my computer. Yes, I like to sleep a lot, but when I am awake, I do like to be working on something. So now that I've been unemployed and mostly projectless for a few months, I've started getting anxious. I really need to get out of the house more often.

It's kind of annoying how people tend to want to produce things out of negativity. In the teenage (or  in my case, young adult) sense, and that usually means angsty writing and a whole lot of pretentiousness. So this blog will probably be seeing a whole lot more posts soon. It just hit me that I'm in the negative fit of my cyclothymia and everything just makes me want to run for hours, but my legs and lungs can only take me so far.

I hope you're all having nicer days.

Goodnight.

old school surveys whaddup

Hi.

I've got a couple of posts on draft right now, but it takes too much out of me to finish them up, so here's a quick old school survey post just so my blog isn't dying.

If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it?

I've tried both. When you're a kid, you just automatically think that most things adults forbid you to do is actually something cool they just want to keep for themselves. Not to mention the fact that mainstream media made drugs and alcohol look fairly fun and enjoyable, so it just made me want to try them.

Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second?

Any serious thoughts that involves me having a child gives me horrible /anxiety/ and my heart actually starts beating faster from fear. I honestly do not know how to answer this question. I personally don't think abortions are okay, but sometimes it just logically makes sense, and it's so easy to say, "no I wouldn't because that's murder", but what do I know.

If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free?

I would definitely sleep in my car for free, because anyone who knows me would know that I am cheap. If I had extra money to spare, I would maybe sleep in hostel, just because I would like to meet new people.

Is there a color shirt you’d NEVER wear?

Pink. Just plain pink. I would wear clothes with a hint of pink, but nothing majorly pink.

What did you have for breakfast?

I woke up at 2pm today, and didn't get out of bed until 4pm and was too lazy to make myself anything, so I had my first meal at 7pm and it was KFC.

What was the last movie you watched?

Camp Takota! Which I love. I've seen it multiple times and there are two major scenes that just takes my heart and kills me. First is the drinking scene up at the cabin, because the holy trinity just looks like they're having so much fun. Second is the quarrelling scene at the crafts hut, because holy shit, who knew these three pun-totting alcoholics knew how to do drama.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose?

Fall Out Boy. Again. I've seen them live once, and I will gladly pay money to see them again. They were amazing, and it was everything I've ever wanted.

When you say you love someone, do you mean it?

Yes. I am very anal about choosing to tell someone "I love you". I don't ever say it, I don't ever text it, I don't ever think it even. So if I ever hear me tell someone that I love them, you bet your fine round ass I mean it.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?

For the first time in a long time, no! Despite not needing to go out for work tomorrow, I plan to not sleep in. I made a couple of plans to make some changes in my life, and a couple of them start tomorrow, and I just hope that everything will turn out well!

As of this minute, what is going through your mind?

I'm thinking about how my plans could easily fail, just like how all my previous plans of change have, and it's definitely scary and uncomfortable, but eh, I'll live. You fail once, you get up twice, amirite?

Where’s the last place you went?

If you mean just in general, Stamford American School for work. If you mean traveling, the last place I've been to was Boracay, Philippines. And yes, a blog post regarding that trip is in the making.

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?

Yes, it really does. I'm secretly extremely competitive, not just in games, but just in general. So the little things really /grinds my gears/, and I find it really annoying, but it mostly just makes me want to keep working to be better than that person.

Do you have drama in your life?

As of now, no, I really don't. People say this a lot, but I mean it when I say that I live an incredibly boring life nowadays. I am currently working from home, so I don't go out and meet new people. I'm incredibly broke, so I can't exactly go out and meet new people, let alone go out and meet up with friends. I don't really have anything going on for me right now, but hopefully all that will change if I succeed with my plans.

I apologize for the lack of /published/ posts recently. I'll put them up throughout this week.

I hope you're all doing fine and is living a much more exciting life than I currently am.

Goodnight.

Thailand/Travel Withdrawals

Hi,

I am back from my 15-day trip around Thailand with Lellel, and I am not ready to be back.

I haven't been doing anything at all, but I've been completely lethargic, and just going back and forth between my iMac desk (since I don't have my MacBook Pro at the moment) and my bed. All I want to do is sleep and dream about traveling all day.

Here's a teaser photo from each city we've been to in Thailand. I am not emotionally ready to go through all my photos yet.

lizaandlellelbangskoks

chiangmaihikeclub

lifeisabeach

I hope you all have exciting things going on right now. I shall try to blog about my trip soon.

Goodnight.

happy everything, January

Hi.

2014 has been off to a good start.

We just wrapped up a SingTel shoot, which was tonnes of fun. I think I can safely say that it has been the most fun project I've worked on during the internship. I was actually doing something meaningful and the crew and talents were super fun to work with. This project took up the most of my time, and I loved (nearly) every moment of it. 

My internship is also about to end in slightly over a week, and as much as I need the money, I really just want to lay in bed and watch Netflix all day. I am starting to worry about finding work after my internship to fund my trips, but I figured that I should try to take it slow and cross that bridge when I get there.

Something I haven't done in awhile was take proper #selfies. The other day, I was having a very rare I-feel-really-meh-about-myself day. It really is a rare occurrence because I truly believe I am great, but everyone has off days. So today, I thought my hair was nice and I decided to take some HD #selfies! I think people just need to remember how great they really are (even though they may be shitty in some ways). Love yourselves, my lovelies!

 

Happy Monday, lovelies. I hope you all have a worry-free week.

Goodnight.

10.35 PM

Hi

There's an intense ringing in my ears and angry loud thumping in my chest. I feel like I'm having a beautifully filmed and edited mental breakdown, á la Gary Ross' Hunger Games.

I have a 5.50 AM call time tomorrow and I can't calm down long enough to even lie still in bed to try to fall asleep. I am legitimately terrified of the remaining nine more weeks, and I wish I could just not show up like how I used to do since secondary school. Literally nothing else has caused me this much stress, and I am constantly feeling unhappy, scared, and helpless.

I sincerely apologize to my friends who has to deal with my bullshit rants and complaints and whining. I believe you guys know who you are, and I really cannot thank you all enough for being there for me and trying to cheer me up. I really appreciate it.

I hope you have a brilliant week ahead.

Goodnight.

Schrödinger's Cat

Hi.

I sincerely apologize for being away for so long. 

I feel like we're in some sort of teenage Schrödinger's Cat relationship. We were super close for awhile, spending almost every waking moment together. And then I started getting busy with my own things and I leave you for awhile, yet I still see your view counts come in the statistics. Then the view counts started going down as I go week after week without posting anything. There are so many things I want to say to you, but I don't know where, or how, to start. And now we're both in two very different places, and I don't know if you're still alive out, or rather, in there. The only way to find out is to open the damned box, which is what I'm doing now. Or at least trying to.

I digress.

I've been incredibly busy, way before my semester break ended. I was working for Ashley during the break, which was fun, but also stressful. I was blessed enough to have a week-long break in the Philippines though, and for the first time since I moved to Singapore, I made sure that my week there would be well-spent, and planned something to do on every single day I had there. It was lots of fun, but also incredibly exhausting.

I started my third, and final year in polytechnic two weeks ago, and work has certainly been piling in. This semester, all of our teachers are getting us to do weeklies, which basically means that we have a weekly homework to complete for each module. It's good, because it makes sure that we are all up to task and are able to do the work assigned without lagging behind, but it's exhausting because of the great number of deadlines and assignments that piles up week after week. I'm liking all the lessons so far though, so that's pretty good.

I mean this to be a pretty short post, but I don't know what happened. Hahahaha. So here, enjoy twat-tastic photos of my face while waiting for my next post. I've got a few upcoming posts soon! I just need a bit of time to process, because I'm busy with school work, plus I'm still working for Ashley too.

I hope you're all having lovely days and nights and everything in between.

Goodnight.

VLC is my current bestfriend.

Hi.

In the span of a month,

I have watched:

• one season of My Mad Fat Diary
• one season of The Carrie Diaries
• two seasons of Girls
• one season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
• two seasons of Don't Trust the B- In Apartment 23
• two seasons of Breaking Bad
• four seasons of Community
• one season of The Biggest Loser

I have seen:

• Pitch Perfect (twice)
• High School Musical 2
• Resident Evil
• Resident Evil: Apocalypse
• Resident Evil: Extinction
• The Devil Wears Prada
• Super High Me
• Fab Five: Texas Cheerleading Scandal
• Perks of Being a Wallflower
• Wreck-It Ralph
• This is 40

I have caught up with:

• Cougar Town
• The Simpsons
• 2 Broke Girls
• New Girl
• Modern Family
• Big Bang Theory
• Family Guy
• How I Met Your Mother
• Two and a Half Men

I have:

• a lot of movies to watch
• three short films to finish
• a lot of shit to do
• and two long-time drafted posts on Blogger

I need to get my shit sorted out really soon. I hope you have your shit sorted out.

Good morning.

Happy New Year

Hi.

It's a brand new year and I've had a week or two to ponder since I've written my goals for 2012 post. I have finally come to the conclusion that 2012 has been a horrific year in plenty of ways, but despite that, I'm glad that there isn't a lot of things to miss over the past year.

I'm the type of person who gets more upset about missing good things than thinking about bad things. It's absolutely horrible, because half the time, I'd just be thinking of how things have changed and that I'll never get things to be how amazing as they were in that moment.

After all the depressing talks about the past, I've decided to stop thinking about it, in a depressing way at least, and move on! I finally managed to drag my butt back to church today, and Ps Simon talked about how we should move on from both the good things and the bad things. Clinging onto good memories is equally as destructive as clinging onto bad memories. We should just look back, learn from what happened, and move on.

I hope you're all having a wonderful start to the new year!

Good evening.

Movie Mondays

Hi!

Over the past six days, I had watched nine movies, which is way more movies than I have watched over the past seven months. I remembered how some people decided that they were going to read 52 books over a year, and I decided that I would do that, but only with film.

So now I introduce to you, something that would be a weekly thing starting 2013, Movie Mondays!

Every week, I would watch a movie and talk about it on this blog on Mondays! It could be anything, animation, drama, chick flicks, though you'd probably only see a sci-fi or classic drama movie once or twice throughout the whole year.

I think it's going to be pretty fun, and make mundane Mondays feel a bit better! It's also a pretty god excuse for me to stay in bed and not think about anything else for at least an hour.

Now I've just downloaded five more movies, which may pilot my Movie Monday series. If you have any suggestions on what movies I should watch, leave a comment below!

I hope you're all having fantastic holidays!

Goodnight.

A legitimate accurate representation of what used to me you and me

http://philippajrice.com/

Yes.

So this happened a couple of times.

Second Semester

Hi.

It's my second week of school, but I haven't even been to school for five days and I've already had two classes cancelled.

I assume that my next 14 weeks or so are gonna go a lot like this. Being awake for 30 hours and more on Mondays and Thursdays, then sleeping the whole day on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Being in school at least two hours early for every class, working on projects in Makan Place in the morning. Trying oh so hard not to let my brain come up with a murder plan for my lecturers. It's a tough life, being a DVFX student.

I've only been to school four times this semester, and I already know it's gonna be hell. I had the worst day on Monday, and I pray to God that I would never have a day like that ever again. I came to school two hours early, only to find out an hour before class starts that it's cancelled. How inconsiderate. So Nicolette and I decided to go up to the Attic to catch some sleep before the next class, only to sit outside like hobos because it didn't open 'til 9.30am. By then, we were in that sleep deprived state that makes people go batshit crazy, so we played games and rolled and ran around the empty room. Stayed there for a couple of hours, only to go to our afternoon class and find out that it only lasted for an hour. What.

Like I usually wouldn't care, but this is insane. Ah. A series of unfortunate events indeed. Hopefully there wouldn't be any other days like that. Ever. I hope to God. Please. I mean, how bad could things get. I'm pretty sure things can only get better from here.

I should probably work on projects now. Or go for a run. Or watch some movies. Or go to sleep. Totes not procrastinating. This is not word vomit.

Goodnight.

Knit me a sweater, and I'll love you forever

Hi.

I've been lusting over a good deal of things. Though I use the word "lust", I'm pretty sure I am in love with these things. Things I would not regret getting, if only I had the money to get them, and are definitely not impulsive wants.

Here's a list ranked by its priority:

1. knitted jumpers in every colour
2. plane ticket to England
3. totebag from Artwork
4. tattoo on my forearm
5. Underground Wulfrun Double-soled Black Leather Creepers

I am currently in love with this knitted jumper from H&M. It's so baggy and comfortable, and it may not be the most flattering, or the most versatile piece in my wardrobe, but I love it to pieces. I just want to wear it all day errday. It's light enough that I can wear it in my room without turning the air conditioner on, but thick enough to keep me warm in my classes.

Wearing this jumper makes me think of the UK. I am roughly two years away (or so I estimate) from moving out of Singapore and into England. I hope to be able to save enough to backpack across the country next year, so I can decide where to move. My heart's pretty set out on Brighton though, mostly because of the beach and the pier. Though I probably wouldn't be there much because of the weather. I am not a fan of the cold.

I can't wait to move to England. The thought of it has pretty much taken over my life, I'm not even joking. When I buy things, I first think of whether I can bring it or wear it in England. I worry about the huge change of temperature, so I'm trying to get used to being in the cold. I'm constantly searching for apartments for rent even though I won't be moving for another two years. It has pretty much been the only thing I could talk about with Trudy. Too much excitement. Ahh!

I hope you're all doing well and have exciting plans for yourselves as well!

Good morning.

HOLIDAYS

FILM:

1. Aperture short (FINISH IT)
2. Candlelight music video
3. Grandma's birthday video
4. Some sort of video every other week

GO TO:

1. Singapore Arts Museum
2. Two Fat Men
3. Chomp Chomp
4. Bistro @ Central
5. 18 Chefs

READ:

1. Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong
2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

WATCH:

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Toy Story 3
3. Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring

DO:

1. Film videos
2. Go to places
3. Read books
4. Watch movies
5. Relax

Remember this list? I have not done a single thing on this list except for the DO section. I'm halfway through filming Vomit & Chocolates, I've had lunch at Yoshimaru more times than I'd like to admit, NYLON Magazine has been on my bedside table for a week, I'm rewatching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 7th time, and life is good.

I may not have done anything on this list, but I do feel rather accomplished. The past few weeks wasn't nearly as busy as the last semester holidays, but I guess it was a good thing. There was a good mix of work, catching up with friends, catching up with family, and alone time.

There's only three more weeks 'til school starts, and I am not excited. Not one bit.

Good morning.

REVAMP!

Hi.

As you probably noticed, I just revamped my blog. I changed the background, changed the header, slightly changed the colour scheme, and changed the links. It looks so fresh and clean now!

I feel like as I age, my blog should grow up as well. I've already done so well with giving up the whole tell-people-who-I-know-do-not-care-every-single-mundane-detail-about-your-day posts, and talking about things that actually make sense. Well most of the time.

I've always wanted to be a blogger. It's so interesting. It's extremely personal, but public at the same time. You can tell so much about a person by looking at their blog. I love going through people's blog and taking a glimpse of what is in their minds. Be it long wordy posts about how they feel when the wind rustle the leaves of trees, or photos of their most recent birthday party.

I hope there are a few people who care enough to take a take a look at what is in my mind. My mind is an incredibly scary place, I know, but there are a couple of interesting stuff in there.

Bah, I'm having a Lizarette meeting in a couple of hours, then I have three projects to work on.

Good morning.

Exact

Hi.

I like this.

I feel like I just spent a day or two at my boyfriend's place watching movies, and I'm on the way home after a refreshing swim and dinner. Days like this were good. Very good. What happened?

I've been having a lot of feels lately, and it's probably because of the time of the year. I don't like the months August and Septembers. They feel very off to me.

Sometimes, if I happen to go to a certain place or wear certain items or listen to certain songs, it triggers certain memories in my head and send me rushing back through to the event where that place or item or song was relevant. I have plenty of triggers like that, and it kills me. All I would want to do is go back, which is obviously impossible, so the next best thing is to talk about it, but I can't do that either.

Sometimes I wish that there are memory-erasing clinics. Of course it would be cheaper to just knock your head against the wall, but where's the fun in that.

"Have you watched The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?"

Hire me.

Hi.

The first week of my holidays has past and somehow, I feel like it has been going on for a month. I've done nothing but fill myself silly with food and watch numerous movies and shows. I'm not even signed up for any jobs or events yet. After my incredibly busy holiday last semester break, my lack of plans right now seems very odd.

So far

• I've watched The Dark Knight Rises with Nicolette
• I've finally gotten my Doc Martens
• I've had dinner at Timbre @ Art House with my class
• I've watched series 3 & 4 of Skins, Shrek 3 & 4, and Kung Fu Panda 2
• I've finished reading This is a Love Story by Jessica Thompson
• I've had a steamboat dinner with Nicolette, Kelly, and Kuan Hui
• I've reorganized my online portfolio
• And I've slept for 24 hours straight in a day

I'm supposed to film a video for my grandmother's birthday this week, meet up with Arlyn tomorrow, drag my ass to school for PPP on wednesday, and God knows what other stuff this week, then I'm flying off to the Philippines on Friday night and will be back on the 2nd of September.

I've applied for an internship for a magazine and I really really hope that I would get it. I've got a back up internship to apply for, though I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've also been on the lookout for jobs in case the whole internship thing doesn't work. My usual photography assistant gig has been kinda slow recently, so I think I need a more regular job since it is the holidays and I need to buy things.

It's 7.05am now. I'm gonna read a couple of pages of The Night Circus, then pass out.

Goodnight.

"I'm Katie fucking Fitch, who the fuck are you"

Sometimes that's just my response to people. I'm Liza fucking Ruedas, I can do whatever I want. Bugger off.

No particular reason why I'm saying this. I just felt like people needed to know.

I've had a pretty sick week so far. I finally got to have my long-awaited fish & chips, got to watch the Dark Knight Rises, and have an amazing dinner with my class at Timbre.

I'm sorry I've got no photos to show, but here are a couple of instagrams I took yesterday.

I had a great night yesterday. I hope you all did too.

Good night.

HOLIDAYS

Hi.

My holidays are starting in about two weeks, so here's some planning.

FILM:

1. Aperture short (FINISH IT)
2. Candlelight music video
3. Grandma's birthday video
4. Some sort of video every other week

GO TO:

1. Singapore Arts Museum
2. Two Fat Men
3. Chomp Chomp
4. Bistro @ Central
5. 18 Chefs

READ:

1. Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong
2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

WATCH:

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Toy Story 3
3. Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring

DO:

1. Film videos
2. Go to places
3. Read books
4. Watch movies
5. Relax

I hope you guys are all well.

Muli

Hi.

I've been in a rather depressing mood lately, so please excuse the negativity in my recent posts.

I don't know why, but there's something about reading something or listening to a song that's in Tagalog that makes me feel emotional. I can't explain it.

I recently listened to Muli by Parokya ni Edgar, and for some reason, I just broke down. I didn't cry or anything stupid, I just felt uneasy and uncomfortable, and for a lack of a better word, emotional. It was ridiculous. And then I stumbled upon a Filipino quote, which for some reason seems to inflict much more emotion than the original English version. This is very odd.

I guess it's the sadistic desire for painful memory-provoking instances, trying to hide the desperate attempt to clutch on any hint of familiarity.

David

Hi, lovelies.

The first semester of the second year of polytechnic is not going well. I have screwed up so much, it's unbelievable. I admit that the screw ups are my fault though. And I'm definitely trying to change now.

There are a lot of things to change about my lifestyle. I recently realized that I am a year away from being 20 years old, and my life is nowhere near where I want it to be. I have screwed up a lot of things, but I think that I am having some sort of life crisis, and I need to change.

1. No more being late
2. No more eating in my room in the middle of the night
3. Make some sort of music video at least once a month

By doing these three simple things, I can change a lot in my life. Not being late means no more cabs, which then means no more unnecessary spending. No more eating in my room at night means losing weight and having a cleaner room. Making a music video means working more on filmmaking without necessarily slaving over coming up with scripts and stuff like that. My plan seems pretty foolproof!

How exciting. I hope everything turns out well.

Goodnight.