Clubbing 101

Hi!

It's the holiday season, which means holiday breaks, which means fun and parties!

http://imtm.deviantart.com/

You and your friends might want to go out and celebrate at a club, but haven't really done so before. It's a lot of fun, but it could be awkward if it's your first time. So I'm here to give you a run through of the whole clubbing experience!

DISCLAIMER: everything is based on my experiences and my opinions! I am not some clubbing guru. I just wanted to share my thoughts. Also this is more for the ladies than it is for guys. Whoops.

1. Get ready to go to the club! Woo!

You don't have to bring much. I would usually only bring some cash, cards, tinted lip balm, and my phone. You can stuff them in a clutch, or preferably a small sling bag so you don't have to hold anything if you're dancing. Some clubs have lockers/deposits where you can keep your things, but I rather have my things to myself.

Make sure you've eaten something before going out. You're going to be in the club for at least a couple of hours with nothing else to ingest, except for possibly lemon, salt, and alcohol. Having something in your stomach also helps so you won't get drunk so easily, because science.

2. Wear something comfortable, but nothing you'd wear to lounge around at home.

Girls like to get dolled up when going out, but you don't have to wear your tightest bodycon dress or your skyscraper heels. Wear something you know you'll look somewhat decent in after an hour or two of dancing, and make sure your dress/skirt is not too short so you won't be showing any booty on the dancefloor.

Only wear heels if you think, no wait, KNOW that you can survive a good couple of hours walking and dancing around in them. DO NOT wear flip flops ever, and I'd suggest not to wear open toed shoes, unless you'd want to get bruised and bloody toes.

3. You're finally at the club! Now what?

Personally, I don't like going in groups, I'd rather go with just one friend, but it's up to you. Just make sure that you're with people you can truly trust. They are people who have take care of you if you get wasted and people you're willing to take care of if they get wasted.

Most clubs open their doors at around 10pm, but unless you're prepared to feel a bit awkward, enter the club a bit after 11pm. There is almost nothing worse than the early period in a club where there's very little people, no one at dancefloor, and you're just standing there bobbing your head to the music.

4. Get a couple of drinks in you! 

The only thing worse than being in a club early is being sober in a club. It's loud, it will get very cramped, and you'll just start to hate people. So counter that shit up with alcohol! Drink enough to get bubbly and bouncy, but not to the point where you feel like vomiting.

Drinks in clubs are pretty expensive, but most clubs have Ladies Night where they give out free drinks during a certain period of time, or some people go for drinks before entering a club. It's up to you.

5. A guy just came up and talked to you. OMG.

Talk to them back, because why not? Talking to a guy doesn't mean that you have to suck their dick. A conversation doesn't have to end up in anything. If they offered to buy you a drink, it's up to your own discretion. Do a quick eye conversation with your friend, if you're unsure, to check if the guy's cool.

If they asked for your number and you don't want to give it, just tell him no or you're not comfortable with that. If that's too awkward for you, just give a fake number, pretend your phone has died so they can't check, and be off your way. There is no other non-awkward way to say no.

6. You can't dance? Me neither!

You've drank enough liquid courage, you're probably already bouncing in place or singing along to the music. Now move your butt down the dancefloor! Just bounce along to the music, put your hands up in the air, and basically do anything as long as you don't hurt people or flash them. It could get crowded, so try to go to a spot where you're not gonna be knocked down by tall people or slammed against a wall.

Contrary to popular belief, there's not a whole lot of grinding going on in clubs. It does happen, but it's not like everyone's in a massive clothed orgy. Guys might creepily be around with the hopes of dancing with you, it's just up to you if you let them or not. Most guys are decent enough where they'd back off if you give them the hint, but if not, seek the help of your friend or get the hell out of that area and move to another spot. 

7. It's the end of the night.

Your feet want to murder you and you're sober enough where you start to hate everyone in the club. It's time to leave! Get a cab and go straight home to pass out. If you're not up to paying an additional 50% of your cab fare, go for supper/breakfast out with your friend until busses or trains start operating or until the midnight cab fare stops.

8. Go to sleep.

So that's pretty much everything you need to know for your first time heading out to a club!

I hope it helps and that you'll enjoy your holiday, however you want to celebrate it!

Goodnight.

Movie Mondays

Hi!

Over the past six days, I had watched nine movies, which is way more movies than I have watched over the past seven months. I remembered how some people decided that they were going to read 52 books over a year, and I decided that I would do that, but only with film.

So now I introduce to you, something that would be a weekly thing starting 2013, Movie Mondays!

Every week, I would watch a movie and talk about it on this blog on Mondays! It could be anything, animation, drama, chick flicks, though you'd probably only see a sci-fi or classic drama movie once or twice throughout the whole year.

I think it's going to be pretty fun, and make mundane Mondays feel a bit better! It's also a pretty god excuse for me to stay in bed and not think about anything else for at least an hour.

Now I've just downloaded five more movies, which may pilot my Movie Monday series. If you have any suggestions on what movies I should watch, leave a comment below!

I hope you're all having fantastic holidays!

Goodnight.

Goals for 2013

Hi.

The next year is just around the corner, and I feel uncomfortable ending 2012 on a depressing note.

The year has been both good and bad, and there is no way for me to come up with a proper conclusion on how I feel about this year as a whole. I guess there were happy times, there were horrible times, but it's mostly just this huge grey period of nothingness. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Unfortunately, the world did not end on December 21st, so now we have to continue living and being positive about things, and carry on pretending we would rather walk the streets feeling excited to find out what's about to happen next, rather than just know it has all ended and no more bad can happen any longer.

In an attempt to make this post look like it's not going downhill, here's a list of things I'd like to accomplish by the end of 2013.

1. Have at least $1k in my bank account by the end of the year. I'm the worst when it comes to money, so I should probably start training how to not run my wallet dry before I move to the UK.
2. Be fit enough to participate in a colour run. If you don't know what a Colour Run is, better head yourself off to Google, because you are missing out! Losing weight is irrelevant, being able to survive running though colour is key.
3. Have enough experience in the industry to own name cards. You know you're ready to jump into the "real world" pool without water wings on when you've got your own name cards.
4. Finish what I start. I currently have two short films I'm half way done producing, and it really bothers me that I've not finished them sooner. This applies to projects I start in the future.
5. Intern in a film company. Because logic.
6. Learn how to dj and mix music. Just because I think it would be a fun skill to pick up.

Seems good enough, right? 

Last year, I made a list of things I planned to do in 2012, and I didn't go through with most of them. Since this year's goals are more realistic, I think things would turn out much better than last year's attempt.

I hope you all survived the end of the world!

Goodnight.

Current Top 3 Youtubers

Hi!

I follow a good number of Youtubers, but there are some that catch my attention and hold it for a good while. Maybe grab on to it a little too tightly, and choke my innards out until I start vomiting phrases from that particular fandom. It's quite a disease, really.

So I present to you, a list of my current top 3 Youtubers.

http://dailygracegetsdressed.tumblr.com/

1. DailyGrace | Grace Helbig

Grace does daily videos, from mondays to fridays. She had a topic for each week like Comment Tuesdays, Tutorial Wednesdays, and my personal favourite, Sexy Fridays. Grace probably does not understand the concept of shame, but I mean that in the best way possible. 

Grace talks about everything from Emmy Awards fashion reviews, to being in a beauty pageant, to 101 ways to say no to sex, all in her usual comedic, satire fashion. Also she is probably the punniest Youtuber out there. Exactly my type of humour.

http://www.facebook.com/Hannah.Hart.Fanpage

2. My Drunk Kitchen | Hannah Hart

Hannah makes cooking videos while drunk and is also very punny. That is it. I have nothing else to say. If you do not feel the need to watch her videos from that sentence alone, I don't know what you're doing with your life.

Hey, gurl / can I take you home / can I get yo' numbah' / can I get you alone / d'you wanna be inside my oven / for some lovin' and covin' / and we're like witches and bitches / 'cause that's what coving means / just in case / nobody understood why I said witches all of a sudden / just like I'm gonna put this tiny hen in my oven / tiny Cornish / game hen / tiny Cornish / say when?! / tiny Cornish / game hen / everybody loves it / everybody loves it!

http://www.facebook.com/charlestrippy

3. CTFxC | Charles & Alli Trippy

Charles & Alli are a couple who've been making 10-15 minute long Youtube videos every single day, for four years. And counting. They vlog and take us with them through their day, which might seem ridiculous to some people, but I personally think it's great because we get to see what it's like being on their side of the world.

They're one of my all time favourite Youtube channels, and I've watched their videos every single day since I've discovered them and I've never been disappointed. We've watched them grow and change and even get married. Now, I'm not one to care about wedding stuff, but watching their wedding video makes me tear up every single time.

So these are my current top three Youtubers you should definitely check out. Whenever I've run out of things to watch, I'd always go back to these three and watch their videos over and over even after I've watched every single one of them at least twice.

I hope you're all having a wonderful week and have plenty Youtube videos to procrastinate with!

Good night.

A legitimate accurate representation of what used to me you and me

http://philippajrice.com/

Yes.

So this happened a couple of times.

Romanticize The Past

Hi.

I have recently realized that people have the tendency to romanticize experiences that are more temporary than others.

What I mean by that is when a person goes on a holiday trip, he or she is most likely coming back from the trip wishing they had decided to stay longer, visited more places, went to the place more often, and constantly revisiting memories that had happened during the trip, and forgetting about the bad things that went along with it.

I am guilty of doing this. I went to Bangkok and came back, wishing I had done things a lot differently, but still happy with how things turned out. I thought about Sunday mornings and how I missed getting woken up by the recordings outside, when in actual fact, I hated those things. I wish I could spend my days with my course mates in a building, when I actually disliked people who come to our room as and when they please.

We, as humans with feelings and emotions, romanticize these memories, thinking that they were more than they were, just because they meant more to us than they probably should. When we miss something, we pick the memory out from the others and hold them up to a better posture, seeing them in a much better light than the rest. 

When looking back at past memories, people will most likely only remember the good things. We are just programmed to work that way. No matter how awful or amazing your destination is, you'll always remember how much fun you had during the trip. I think people need to be more impartial and subjective to realize what went wrong and make sure that never happens again.

But I guess since things are constantly changing, we might as well make full use of what we think we enjoyed in the past.

I hope I haven't bummed you all out, and that you're feeling fine.

Good evening.

Empty | Full

Hi.

I don't think I've ever felt this lost.

I don't think I've ever felt lost, really. Right now, I just feel like I don't know where I am in life, and I wake up thinking, "if I don't exist today, would things be any different?". It's horrible, because it only applies to the present. I know where I stood months ago, and I know what I'll be doing years from now, but I don't know where I am right now.

There is just no drive, no meaning, and at the end of each day I look back and realize how empty the past few hours were. Sure, I was busy in school and probably had superficial conversations with people, but that's just what the day was. Superficial.

It's odd, because I've never felt this way. To be honest, I've never really seen myself as someone with feelings. Close friends would probably tell you the same. I used to just go by day after day, no matter how shitty and depressing one was, I'll be back smiling and making horrible puns after. I've never seriously worried about the future, let alone the present, and just went through each day, being the quintessential spokesperson of "going with the flow". But in a good way. Now instead of riding the waves, I'm going with the flow in a way that could be better described as "getting dragged by waste water down the sewers".

I just feel so, for the lack of a better word, empty. Yet simultaneously full. My heart has been so heavy, but it is full of nothingness, of emptiness. My days are empty, the messages app on my phone is empty, my wallet is empty, there is nothing tangible in this planet that would make me want to go to church,  my social life is non-existent, I find absolutely no reason to leave my room, and I literally and legitimately do not have any idea what to do or what to think as of this moment. Nothing makes me legitimately and non-superficially happy. The closest I could get is a Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks, but that's only 5% on the happiness meter, and it'll cost me at least 400 calories, and not to mention that shit is expensive!

I think I'm in the depressed state of my Cyclothymia. I really do hope that this is all from Cyclothymia, or else, I'm fucked.

I really hope you're not feeling like shit.

Good morning.

I am very upset

Hi.

I told myself I wouldn't put up the incredibly depressing post below. I had talked to a friend about the issue after all. But I had already typed it out all so neatly, so I might as well put it up.

---

I promised myself that I would stop putting up any form of sadness on my blog and put up more things people might actually bother reading, but it seems like there really isn't a point in having a blog, if you don't share what's really on your mind.

I wonder if anybody's actually had feelings for me. Like actually got upset or mad over the little things I did and got jealous and confused over me and thought about me on a regular basis. I feel like I'm the only person that ever cares about anyone and that nobody's ever felt that way for me.  

 - from here

This idea seems much more emotional than it should be. It really isn't. It just reminded me of someone who I thought cared. Maybe he really did, maybe he didn't. But I really felt like he was that one person at the time who gets upset if I blew him off for work or had to hang out with someone else. One who would be upset when I'm upset and try to cheer me up. Someone who would be upset with me if I did something wrong to myself or in my life, and actually call me out on it. It really sounds like he cared, doesn't it?

I wish I hadn't been so cold and emotionless back then. I regret all the intentionally ignored phone calls, declined invitations to hangouts and parties, and incredibly late replied messages. But then I also blame this person for not saying anything, for disappearing into thin air, and for not giving this whole thing closure.

I'm too upset to be talking about this kinda thing in public. When upset, people tend to only remember the good things. Let's try to think of bad things then. He... I legitimately had to sit here for at least five minutes and really rack my brains out for a negative thing, and I could only think of one, but that was partially my fault anyway. He still owes me presents. Aha! Bad thing indeed.

---

I hope everyone's feeling much better than I am.

Good morning.

Finish This Book

Hi.

The lovely Nicolette Koh has kindly gifted me with Finish This Book by Keri Smith, and I just wanted to share a post I have completed from the book.

I sit in Starbucks as I wait for visual prey, sipping a grande peppermint mocha, listening to Ed Sheeran romanticize the most basic form of human interaction. I watch the baristas in their natural habitat, frothing coffee and pumping syrups like they have been doing it their whole lives, and I look at my handwriting with great disdain, disappointed at its quality despite having nineteen years of experience of holding a pen and scribbling it on paper.

There is something about Starbucks that makes people feel the need to be pretentious. I see teenage girls giggling with their friends, taking photos with their drinks, an act I can totally imagine my mother doing. I see a guy in chinos and Doc Marten boots, use his pens as drum sticks, playing a pattern so weird, you just know he is not a real drummer. And then you have this girl wearing a sweater over a collared shirt, quietly judging everyone from a corner of the room and record it down on a completely unsuspicious book.

Whenever I read a sentence I had just written, I instantly like myself ten percent less, seeing the incredibly long sentences that are probably worth only a few words, yet I can't stop writing this way. There is something very comfortable about attempting to sound like a great indie writer despite knowing you actually end up sounding like a douchebag And it doesn't take a sleuth to figure that out.

I hope you have a pleasant week.

Good day.

Second Semester

Hi.

It's my second week of school, but I haven't even been to school for five days and I've already had two classes cancelled.

I assume that my next 14 weeks or so are gonna go a lot like this. Being awake for 30 hours and more on Mondays and Thursdays, then sleeping the whole day on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Being in school at least two hours early for every class, working on projects in Makan Place in the morning. Trying oh so hard not to let my brain come up with a murder plan for my lecturers. It's a tough life, being a DVFX student.

I've only been to school four times this semester, and I already know it's gonna be hell. I had the worst day on Monday, and I pray to God that I would never have a day like that ever again. I came to school two hours early, only to find out an hour before class starts that it's cancelled. How inconsiderate. So Nicolette and I decided to go up to the Attic to catch some sleep before the next class, only to sit outside like hobos because it didn't open 'til 9.30am. By then, we were in that sleep deprived state that makes people go batshit crazy, so we played games and rolled and ran around the empty room. Stayed there for a couple of hours, only to go to our afternoon class and find out that it only lasted for an hour. What.

Like I usually wouldn't care, but this is insane. Ah. A series of unfortunate events indeed. Hopefully there wouldn't be any other days like that. Ever. I hope to God. Please. I mean, how bad could things get. I'm pretty sure things can only get better from here.

I should probably work on projects now. Or go for a run. Or watch some movies. Or go to sleep. Totes not procrastinating. This is not word vomit.

Goodnight.

Knit me a sweater, and I'll love you forever

Hi.

I've been lusting over a good deal of things. Though I use the word "lust", I'm pretty sure I am in love with these things. Things I would not regret getting, if only I had the money to get them, and are definitely not impulsive wants.

Here's a list ranked by its priority:

1. knitted jumpers in every colour
2. plane ticket to England
3. totebag from Artwork
4. tattoo on my forearm
5. Underground Wulfrun Double-soled Black Leather Creepers

I am currently in love with this knitted jumper from H&M. It's so baggy and comfortable, and it may not be the most flattering, or the most versatile piece in my wardrobe, but I love it to pieces. I just want to wear it all day errday. It's light enough that I can wear it in my room without turning the air conditioner on, but thick enough to keep me warm in my classes.

Wearing this jumper makes me think of the UK. I am roughly two years away (or so I estimate) from moving out of Singapore and into England. I hope to be able to save enough to backpack across the country next year, so I can decide where to move. My heart's pretty set out on Brighton though, mostly because of the beach and the pier. Though I probably wouldn't be there much because of the weather. I am not a fan of the cold.

I can't wait to move to England. The thought of it has pretty much taken over my life, I'm not even joking. When I buy things, I first think of whether I can bring it or wear it in England. I worry about the huge change of temperature, so I'm trying to get used to being in the cold. I'm constantly searching for apartments for rent even though I won't be moving for another two years. It has pretty much been the only thing I could talk about with Trudy. Too much excitement. Ahh!

I hope you're all doing well and have exciting plans for yourselves as well!

Good morning.

Happy birthday indeed.

Hi.

Quick confession. I'm a pathological liar, bordering on sociopathy, and I suffer from Cyclothymia, which is a mild case of manic depression. Loosely diagnosed by a relative who studies mental disorders.

I'm in the bounds of having a depressive fit, which is absolutely horrible when combined with being a pathological liar. To try to combat the latter, I just try not to talk to anyone as much as possible, but that only adds fuel to the flame of depression.

Contrary to popular belief, depression is not something that "just takes time to get over". It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that could mostly only be sorted out with drugs. Unfortunately, some people seem to take advantage of that and use antidepressants to get high, which is stupid. If you want to get high, do weed, or drink, or go to a club. Or be manic depressive and get high for a couple of weeks straight, before falling into a pit of depression.

Back when I was younger, I used to wonder why I would always feel like absolute shit after I've had the most amazing time. I used to believe that it was normal, and that that's just how the universe works. You win some, you lose some. That's just how the balance goes, and you can't possibly be happy all the time. I still believe that to a certain extent, but it wasn't until I talked to a relative about it when I realized that it's not normal. After finding out about Cyclothymia, I did more research and I am sure that I am far from having a proper bipolar disorder, which is good, but I still suffer from it. Constantly. 

What's my way to deal with depression? Hiding in my room for at least 24 hours straight, only eating one meal a day, sleeping a whole lot, listening to songs that make me want to curl up in a fetal position, not talking to anyone, screaming at people who try to talk to me, and trying not to cry as I think of the places I could go or things I could do or people I could meet. It only seems logical.

This post was very hard to write. Anything that is true is very hard to write. Trying not to lie was very hard, and getting out of bed long enough to stop my laptop from playing Iwan Rheon was very hard.

I hope you're all having better weeks.

Goodnight.

England

Hi.

For the past couple of days, I've been spending an incredibly sad number of hours on the internet searching for apartments in England and just reading up on towns like Camden and Bristol and Brighton. And by sad, I mean the whole day.

I've been planning to move to England with a couple of friends. They will be doing university, while I slowly build up my career, somehow hopefully involving E4. I'm not really aiming to get to university, simply because it is expensive and I don't think a piece of paper people call a degree is necessary in the field that I want to work in. 

Anyway, we've yet to decide on a town, but I have seen a couple of pretty sweet houses for rent all over England. In my dream house, the whole place would have a modern vibe, mostly white and light wood and steel. We would have an L-shaped kitchen that has an oven with a separate grill, and a kitchen island where we could have breakfast and a small dining table for when people come over. I'd have a built-in desk and wardrobe in my room, and a full-length standalone mirror. Our living room would only have bookshelves, a coffee table, and a couch or bean bags, and no TV. We would have a pretty decent garden, doesn't have to be big. Just somewhere I could lay a mat down and have a picnic when I don't feel like being cooped up at home. We thought of getting a teacup pig, but I just found out that they grow up to be as big as a medium-sized dog, so I rather get the dog or a cat. All this thinking is making me ache of my house. I just might go on The Sims 3 right now to build it.

I've told a couple of people about this and they're all asking me if I really think I could survive on my own. I honestly think I could. Of course, parents would be funding my first couple of months stay, just so I'd have time to settle down and get a job, but I truly think I'd be able to make it on my own. I'd get a job, or two, one that's full-time and one part-time waitressing gig if I need it or freelance if I can. Of course I know it's not easy to get a job, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. I'd get a bike to travel around the neighbourhood, and take the tube to go to places. I could cook instead of eat out, which means saving money and eating healthy. The only thing I'm truly worried about it safety. And Topshop being equally horrifically expensive as it is in Singapore. That would be majorly depressing. 

I've already started to prepare for this big move in my life as money is a big issue, and building on that takes a lot of time. From now on, I can only buy clothes I think I could wear in England's weather. I get cold pretty easily so this just crosses out a lot of things from my usual wardrobe must haves. I can only buy things I know I can bring to England. No more shoes, unless I really do need them, no more bags, because I truly do not need anymore, no more gadgets, because I only need my camera and laptop and iPhone to live! I'm also gonna seriously start saving up money now, which I know would be hard, but it's something I know I could definitely do.

Now people who would read this would probably think that I'm just a spoiled girl, dreaming of things I probably would have to give up in the future, but no. I am serious. I need to do this, and I have a plan. I'm not just doing this to leave Singapore, I'm doing this because I know I have to. You might ask why I've dropped the idea of moving to Los Angeles. I haven't. It's just not the right time, and everyone has shit to sort out. It would be my second plan though. I can't wait to live in England. There are places to be, people to meet, and lives to be lived.

I hope you have a good week.

Good morning.

HOLIDAYS

FILM:

1. Aperture short (FINISH IT)
2. Candlelight music video
3. Grandma's birthday video
4. Some sort of video every other week

GO TO:

1. Singapore Arts Museum
2. Two Fat Men
3. Chomp Chomp
4. Bistro @ Central
5. 18 Chefs

READ:

1. Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong
2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

WATCH:

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Toy Story 3
3. Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring

DO:

1. Film videos
2. Go to places
3. Read books
4. Watch movies
5. Relax

Remember this list? I have not done a single thing on this list except for the DO section. I'm halfway through filming Vomit & Chocolates, I've had lunch at Yoshimaru more times than I'd like to admit, NYLON Magazine has been on my bedside table for a week, I'm rewatching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 7th time, and life is good.

I may not have done anything on this list, but I do feel rather accomplished. The past few weeks wasn't nearly as busy as the last semester holidays, but I guess it was a good thing. There was a good mix of work, catching up with friends, catching up with family, and alone time.

There's only three more weeks 'til school starts, and I am not excited. Not one bit.

Good morning.

REVAMP!

Hi.

As you probably noticed, I just revamped my blog. I changed the background, changed the header, slightly changed the colour scheme, and changed the links. It looks so fresh and clean now!

I feel like as I age, my blog should grow up as well. I've already done so well with giving up the whole tell-people-who-I-know-do-not-care-every-single-mundane-detail-about-your-day posts, and talking about things that actually make sense. Well most of the time.

I've always wanted to be a blogger. It's so interesting. It's extremely personal, but public at the same time. You can tell so much about a person by looking at their blog. I love going through people's blog and taking a glimpse of what is in their minds. Be it long wordy posts about how they feel when the wind rustle the leaves of trees, or photos of their most recent birthday party.

I hope there are a few people who care enough to take a take a look at what is in my mind. My mind is an incredibly scary place, I know, but there are a couple of interesting stuff in there.

Bah, I'm having a Lizarette meeting in a couple of hours, then I have three projects to work on.

Good morning.

Exact

Hi.

I like this.

I feel like I just spent a day or two at my boyfriend's place watching movies, and I'm on the way home after a refreshing swim and dinner. Days like this were good. Very good. What happened?

I've been having a lot of feels lately, and it's probably because of the time of the year. I don't like the months August and Septembers. They feel very off to me.

Sometimes, if I happen to go to a certain place or wear certain items or listen to certain songs, it triggers certain memories in my head and send me rushing back through to the event where that place or item or song was relevant. I have plenty of triggers like that, and it kills me. All I would want to do is go back, which is obviously impossible, so the next best thing is to talk about it, but I can't do that either.

Sometimes I wish that there are memory-erasing clinics. Of course it would be cheaper to just knock your head against the wall, but where's the fun in that.

"Have you watched The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?"

Philippines 2012

Me and my favourite poop face

BROWNIE

On the MOA eye (ferris wheel)

My housemates for the week

I went on a date with two of my favourite girls!

My cousin Denisse and her doggie

My lovely cousins

I miss the Philippines already.

Hire me.

Hi.

The first week of my holidays has past and somehow, I feel like it has been going on for a month. I've done nothing but fill myself silly with food and watch numerous movies and shows. I'm not even signed up for any jobs or events yet. After my incredibly busy holiday last semester break, my lack of plans right now seems very odd.

So far

• I've watched The Dark Knight Rises with Nicolette
• I've finally gotten my Doc Martens
• I've had dinner at Timbre @ Art House with my class
• I've watched series 3 & 4 of Skins, Shrek 3 & 4, and Kung Fu Panda 2
• I've finished reading This is a Love Story by Jessica Thompson
• I've had a steamboat dinner with Nicolette, Kelly, and Kuan Hui
• I've reorganized my online portfolio
• And I've slept for 24 hours straight in a day

I'm supposed to film a video for my grandmother's birthday this week, meet up with Arlyn tomorrow, drag my ass to school for PPP on wednesday, and God knows what other stuff this week, then I'm flying off to the Philippines on Friday night and will be back on the 2nd of September.

I've applied for an internship for a magazine and I really really hope that I would get it. I've got a back up internship to apply for, though I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've also been on the lookout for jobs in case the whole internship thing doesn't work. My usual photography assistant gig has been kinda slow recently, so I think I need a more regular job since it is the holidays and I need to buy things.

It's 7.05am now. I'm gonna read a couple of pages of The Night Circus, then pass out.

Goodnight.

"I'm Katie fucking Fitch, who the fuck are you"

Sometimes that's just my response to people. I'm Liza fucking Ruedas, I can do whatever I want. Bugger off.

No particular reason why I'm saying this. I just felt like people needed to know.

I've had a pretty sick week so far. I finally got to have my long-awaited fish & chips, got to watch the Dark Knight Rises, and have an amazing dinner with my class at Timbre.

I'm sorry I've got no photos to show, but here are a couple of instagrams I took yesterday.

I had a great night yesterday. I hope you all did too.

Good night.

HOLIDAYS

Hi.

My holidays are starting in about two weeks, so here's some planning.

FILM:

1. Aperture short (FINISH IT)
2. Candlelight music video
3. Grandma's birthday video
4. Some sort of video every other week

GO TO:

1. Singapore Arts Museum
2. Two Fat Men
3. Chomp Chomp
4. Bistro @ Central
5. 18 Chefs

READ:

1. Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong
2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

WATCH:

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Toy Story 3
3. Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring

DO:

1. Film videos
2. Go to places
3. Read books
4. Watch movies
5. Relax

I hope you guys are all well.

Sleeping patterns

Hi.

I slept at 4am today, which is early, and woke up at 4pm, which is a bit too early than I hoped. A lot of people have been asking me about my sleeping habits. Some say it's screwed up, I just say it's slightly unorthodox.

I guess I've always had a screwed up body clock. Being someone who skipped school more than adults would've liked, I spent quite a number of my days sleeping in 'til 12pm and going to bed at 2am. Matters only got "worse" when I joined polytechnic and had a pretty irregular class schedule. Mix that with assignments and deadlines, and you get a nocturnal Liza.

So about my sleeping patterns, nowadays, I sleep at around 5 or 6am. If I don't need to go out that day, I would wake up at around 3 or 4pm. If I do, I'd wake up two and a half hours before the meeting time, roll around 45 minutes, then get up and squeeze my one hour preparing-to-go-out time in 15 minutes. If I had an early day, I'd go home in the afternoon and pass out 'til about 11pm. Then I'd do my work and whatever, 'til I fall asleep at 5am again.

I'm quite fine with my "sleeping pattern". The only thing I dislike about it is that I can never get proper meals. I only get lunch. I guess I can always cook, but it's depressing when my mom makes something wonderful for dinner, but I complete sleep through it and I'm left with the sad cold leftover mush. I can't really fall asleep any earlier than 4am even if I tried, unless I torture myself to exhaustion, which I rather not do. I'm not particularly lethargic when I go out in daylight even with only 2 hours of sleep. I guess I'm already used to it. 

So that's pretty much it regarding my sleeping schedule. Timing doesn't really bother me, but I think it will affect my health pretty badly in the long run. Though I do believe that if I continue this habit, it will become just that, a habit. A normal thing that would no longer affect me or my system.

Ok, I think I should go to sleep now. Good morning.

Cameo Lover

Kimbra Lee Johnson, or just Kimbra, has recently shot up to fame after her collaboration single with Gotye became viral over the past couple of months. Though Somebody That I Used To Know is  probably a cult favourite, I've fallen in love with another more upbeat song of hers.

If you have not yet listened to Kimbra's single, Cameo Lover, please stop reading this and scroll down to check out the music video. 

I love how she makes a potentially depressing story sound upbeat and happy. If I was mindlessly listening to this single in the background, I would've thought that the song was slightly Katy Perry-esque pop. The music video is equally emotionally-confusing. It looks likes a toned down version of a K-pop music video with the studio set-up, dancing, and abundance of colours. But that's what I like about it.

But as stunning as the original is, I much prefer her acoustic take on the song. She sings with such intensity, and I am completely blown away. It sounds much more romantic played on an acoustic guitar and has a completely different feel from the percussion-heavy original. It truly showcases how amazing her voice is, and how she is so full of talent. 

If you have never listened to one of Kimbra's originals, do check out Cameo Lover at the end of this post, or check out her website (http://www.kimbramusic.com/frontpage). If you stare at her long enough, she might blink.

Photo credits to Kimbra.

Cake Pops

So the other day, I went over to Nicolette's house to bake and visit Buddy!

We initially planned to make cake pops (recipe from abeautifulmess), but we sort of messed up after we added the icing and melted the chocolate. The molds got a bit too squishy, and the chocolate did not melt right. It actually started smoking when we put the stove over the induction cooker! It did turn out pretty interesting, and well, pretty after we've wrapped them in cut-up colourful sandwich bags.

Here is my amazing baking partner, Nicolette! Thank you for letting me abuse your home.

It was a good day.

Muli

Hi.

I've been in a rather depressing mood lately, so please excuse the negativity in my recent posts.

I don't know why, but there's something about reading something or listening to a song that's in Tagalog that makes me feel emotional. I can't explain it.

I recently listened to Muli by Parokya ni Edgar, and for some reason, I just broke down. I didn't cry or anything stupid, I just felt uneasy and uncomfortable, and for a lack of a better word, emotional. It was ridiculous. And then I stumbled upon a Filipino quote, which for some reason seems to inflict much more emotion than the original English version. This is very odd.

I guess it's the sadistic desire for painful memory-provoking instances, trying to hide the desperate attempt to clutch on any hint of familiarity.

Hurley

Hi.

I think that I am quite an internally prideful person. I wouldn't say that I'm proud, but I know what I'm good at and would never bring myself down.

One time I backed down was for a stupid stupid thing. I was scared and thought I could never possibly pull this off, but I regret it. I apologize if this sounds rather sappy, but for some reason, there's been this nagging thought in the back of my mind and I think I just need some sort of closure.

She's pretty. Pretty amazing, but also pretty. She's talented, could sing, dance, and act. She's tiny, her waist fit his arm like a glove. She's rich, fashionable, popular. And that's not all. She's nice, cheerful, kind. She's helped out in mission trips and charities, and helped out a lot of people in general. Despite all that, she's humble. She's unbelievable.

I've only met her once, but that was enough to leave me amazed. It didn't help that the only times she was brought up in conversations was when she was being praised for another amazing thing that she did, and those times came often enough. How was I supposed to compete with that?! No, wait, never mind competing. How was I supposed to follow up to that?!

She's perfect. Damn, if I was a guy, I'd definitely be totally and completely in love with her. Who wouldn't? So what was I supposed to do, pretend she didn't exist? Even you couldn't do that. I wasn't, and will never be anything even remotely close to being like her. The mere thought of following in her footsteps scare the living shit out of me because I know I'll never be as good. So I stepped away. 

I was still there, but I stayed quiet. Unmemorable. And I regret it. It makes me wonder how things would've turned out if I wasn't such a pussy. Ok, I'm not saying things would've been like "getting it on" when I "turn my game on", oh goodness, it pains me to type that, but I'd like to think that things would've turned out differently. Not necessarily better than how things are now, but different.

Now I'm pushing, trying so hard to be there. To be unforgettable, but it's kinda hard when we're both busy with our own lives. I don't even know why I try, when you've disappointed me so many times. I guess I just want to know what's on both sides of the fence, though I'm pretty sure that there will still be something I'll majorly regret.

But all's over, I guess. I'm not even in want of anything or anyone right now.

I just want to stay in bed on a rainy day. Oh, and your jacket. I want to stay in bed on a rainy day wearing your jacket.

David

Hi, lovelies.

The first semester of the second year of polytechnic is not going well. I have screwed up so much, it's unbelievable. I admit that the screw ups are my fault though. And I'm definitely trying to change now.

There are a lot of things to change about my lifestyle. I recently realized that I am a year away from being 20 years old, and my life is nowhere near where I want it to be. I have screwed up a lot of things, but I think that I am having some sort of life crisis, and I need to change.

1. No more being late
2. No more eating in my room in the middle of the night
3. Make some sort of music video at least once a month

By doing these three simple things, I can change a lot in my life. Not being late means no more cabs, which then means no more unnecessary spending. No more eating in my room at night means losing weight and having a cleaner room. Making a music video means working more on filmmaking without necessarily slaving over coming up with scripts and stuff like that. My plan seems pretty foolproof!

How exciting. I hope everything turns out well.

Goodnight.